You Know You’re Hungarian…
1. When you use sour cream more than ketchup.
2. When your parents come to visit for 3 weeks and you all stay in a one
3. When feeding your guests is your main priority even if they claim
they’re not hungry and in which case you get slightly offended/upset that
they don’t want your hospitality.
4. When someone says that Hungarian “is like Russian and all those other
Slavic languages,” and then you have to go into great detail about the
origins of Hungarian with a scolding history lesson.
5. When Paprika is just as important as salt & pepper on the table & in
6. When you know what Unicum is and prefer it over Jagrmeister.
7. When you know how to open a bottle of wine with only a screw and a pair
8. When you tell someone that you are Hungarian, they ask “Are you hungry?”
Then you congratulate them on being the millionth person to say that to
9. When you’ve heard, “If you’re hungry, why not go to Turkey?” at least
once in your life.
10. When you have a relative who’s named Attila. Or Jozsef. Or Janos. Or
11. When half of your mothers friends husbands have the name Jozsef.
12. When you know that the “goulash” you see in many restaurants has in
actuality little/nothing to do with the gulyas leves we really eat.
13. When meeting another Hungarian in a country outside of Hungary is
14. When you know the meaning of “kurva” even if you don’t know any other
15. When you love Turó Rudi but cant really explain to foreigners what the
hell that is untill they try it.
16. When your foreign friends ask you if you still believe that Santa Claus
brings the presents on the night between December 24th-25th… then you
answer somehow confused that Santa Claus brings the presents on the 6th of
December and it is actually Little Jesus who brings the presents on
Christmas, but the presents are already there on the 24th at 6PM.
17. When a pancake is extremely flat in your country and you roll it up
instead of folding it.
18. When you know what TÚRÓ is.
19. When you know the phrase “three is the Hungarian truth”.
20. When 7 is a bad number.
21. When you leave your house for longer than 2 hours, you make sure
there’s enough sandwiches, apples, bottled tap water, coffee in a thermos,
and chocolate bars packed for everyone to survive (without spending a
22. When you do not speak with your mouth full.
23. When guys keep telling you that Hungarian girls are the cutest and
prettiest and hope that you just believe it and they get laid.
24. When they wanna show off by saying that they know your capital:
Bucharest and no, they are not joking!
25. When you go into a Chinese restaurant and order your Sechuan chicken
with french fries, cucumber salad and ask for a few slices of bread as
26. When you have a funny accent in every other language you speak.
27. When you love Mákos Guba and you can’t explain what MÁK is, neither
GUBA to anyone.. and if you finallly can, everyone will think you’re some
kind of weirdo for eating that.
28. When you go into a Posta when every single old person in Budapest wants
to, and they keep letting their mates into the line.
29. When catching a bus an old lady with lots of heavy bags runs by you and
reaches the bus first, then sits down panting and complaining how old she
is and how the stuff is heavy and young people are not well educated, etc.
30. When you start counting on your hand with one being the thumb.
31. When you can swear for 5 minutes straight, with one breath, not using
the same word, ever.
32. When you know what ‘lángos’ is.
33. When you wish you would get 5 bucks everytime somebody says “I know a
hungarian word… b@zdmeg… *laugh*…”
34. When you can show off your engagement ring, worn on the opposite hand.
35. When you know why the bells of every church ring every day at noon.
36. When you have difficulty pronouncing words started with “W” in English,
but you’re capable of creating long and meaningful sentences using only “E”
vowels in you mother tongue.
37. When you would rather stand up in a tram/trolley when there are plenty
of seats available.
38. When you have more excuses for the kontrollers than you have tickets.
39. When the train hasn’t even left the station, but you are already eating
your home made sandwiches (usually with half a paprika or tomato in it).
40. When you tell everybody that Hungarian people always criticize
41. When the home-made sandwiches on the train include Wienerschnitzel.
42. When you call a 79 km long lake (the Balaton) the Hungarian Sea. And
you are able to swim across it!
43. When you have to pay in a wedding if you want to dance with the bride.
44. When you can eat ANYTHING deep fried (with breadcrumbs on it) and can
make spirits (pálinka) of (almost) EVERYTHING, including paprika of course!
45. When you go “up” to Budapest and “down” to the countryside.
46. When you NEVER leave home with wet hair because you can get a cold and
you ALWAYS bring your hair dryer when going abroad, and are astonished when
people do not have one in their own homes!
47. When you sit always on the same place and chair, even when the
(class)room is empty and “your” place is in the end of the room.
48. When you know that “piros pöttyös túró rudi” is possibly the most
delicious thing in the world and you feel sorry for the non-Hungarian part
of mankind who don’t even know what it is.
49. When zou cant tzpe on an english kezboard because y and z are mixed
50. When you know the difference between s and sz. and also u and ü.
51. When you know what a pogácsa/dobos torta/kürtõs
kalács/fõzelék/túrógombóc is, and love most of them.
52. When you tend to feel sorry for yourself for no particular reason and
complain a lot.
53. When you understand cynism and sarcasm; you sometimes go
54. When you kind of dislike Turkish/Albanian people even tough you have
never seen one in your life – you have the strange idea that they must all
be related to Jumurdzsák and his evil lot.
55. When you have a great sense of humor, except when it comes to the
“hungry/Hungarian” jokes, which you think are the least funny in the world
and they make you feel like kicking someone’s ass.
56. When you are more creative in cheating then any other nationality.
57. When Winnie the Pooh and The Flintstones is actually much funnier
translated into your language than the original.
58. When you go abroad and joke with the people there as at home and they
just don’t understand but get possibly hurt by your funny remarks.
59. When you are snobby and think that anyone who has not read Dostoyewski
and Bulgakow is not an intelligent human being.
60. When your language has two words for love.
61. When you deeply believe that Budapest (or your hometown) is the most
beautiful city in the whole wide word and -just to make sure- you swear for
that before going up to the Eiffel tower.
62. When you know that “a copper angel whistling on a copper tree” is
actually a swear-expression!
63. When you have szaloncukor on the Christmas tree! 😀
64. When you have a nameday and no one foreign understands what that is
65. When you have a row and seat number on your cinema ticket… but you
paid the same amount like the one who sits at the best place… and usually
arrives 5 minutes after the movie started.
66. When you always have only two options to choose from and you like none of them.